Brown Bunny

The second film of Vincent Gallo jumped to the first pages of the entertainment
sections of every newspaper in the world after being showed at the <> Cannes Festival. The reason? Well
the reason was una mamada (in mexican slang this makes perfect sense, believe it
or not), ya know, a bj, a close talk to the microphone, a slurpee lubee to the tubee. Yep. It is explicit and it is not fake, so if you are going to make faces make them now.

The movie of course, having the normal theatrical length, has more in it than
the infamous shot. Let's see: it is about this guy, Vincent Gallo, who loves dressing in brown
and has a strange interest for bunnies. Nah, let me rephrase, because
that actually sounded interesting. It is about this
weirdo who races in motorcycle all over the country, traveling from one race
to another in his van, sleeping in cheapo motels (alone) and having therefore a very shitty life. No, not enough. Again: it is about Gallo making a too long story about himself, with images (close ups mostly) of himself pretending being (supposedly) himself in a really sad situation, and so he hits the road alone. Oh, and he is very very sad about a girl.

Wait, it gets better: his character is supposed to be so attractive (I am guessing that was his point) that he does not need to really talk to a woman to make her fall in love with him inmediately. We see how he can convince a girl of leaving home to escape with him with not much more than a "hello" and a "please go with me", and we also see how he can make a hot woman on her late forties to have foreplay with him by only sitting next to her. The significance of this is to show the audience how lucky he is with women but how he does not care because he only loves the one who broke up with him, the one called Brandy and who is interpreted by the beautiful Chloe Sevigny -a real life ex-girlfriend-.

Yep, that in 1 hour and 45 minutes of mostly silent takes of Vincent Gallo driving, Vincent Gallo driving, Vincent Gallo taking his motorcycle here and there, Vincent Gallo driving again, and oh, yes, Vincent Gallo driving and not saying much. I guess as an experiment it is interesting, because the audiences can make their own interpretation of what is going on, and make the movie as good or as bad as they want. Well, I made a very bad one, sorry. In my interpretation the idea is good, the sad guy who lost the girl and wanders the world, not caring much about anything else than the pain of the lost love, but the cinematography is so amateurish and boring, that the whole idea gets lost in time and space very soon, until you realize that you are tired, your ass is numb, and you really want to leave the theater (as many did in the Cannes presentation) and go home and watch something more significant, like the Anna Nicole Show, or some commercials.

Then, when you think it won't get any better and you prepare to stand up and give the finger to the autheur, the movie gets to its climax with the appearance of pretty Chloe for the one and only semi-coherent dialogue of the film: Why did you leave me if I still love you? Can I kiss you? No, you are a whore and I am mad at you. But I love you, though I am a helpless crack smoker. Yeah? well, I don't care, I am mad. Ok, then let's have sex. No, why don't I humiliate you first? Ok, that sounds sooo romantic. Slurp Slurp Slurp. Hey this shot is taken behind a glass, we can see the reflectors. Slurp Slurp Slurp. Now I am going to say really bad things to you because you can not answer with a mouth full, Ok? Mmmhmm Slurp slurp slurp. Oh, yeah, ahh, I am done. Now explain me why did you cheat on me and let's make it the worst storyline in years. Ok, fine. Blah Blah. Well, that's it. The end.

Yep, I guess this says to a bunch of rich druggy kids who love motorcycles and pretend to
be artists, that they can still make a lot of money even with the three or four classes they took
at that expensive film school in those mornings when they were not passed out or hungover. To the rest of the world it only says that explicit sex scenes can make it through censorship if
the movie is controversial enough. Oh, and also that porn is still not an art form, so don't get any ideas yet.